


Longing

by Lightw99d



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 18:16:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10366551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightw99d/pseuds/Lightw99d
Summary: Merlin is the one that Arthur loves most in the world





	

A hard lump. That's all Arthur could feel in his throat. He thought that seeing Merlin, his best friend, lying on a table of his back, hardly breathing and unconscious, would make his mind go blank, make him forgot everything that has happened and ever will happen again. But his mind was racing, yelling, telling Arthur it was all his fault, telling him that if he'd forbid Merlin to come with him then he wouldn't have been hurt. And, God, Arthur knew bringing Merlin would be dangerous, he was an alright fighter but lacked greatly in comparison to Arthur and his Knights. He was also so distracting for Arthur. Every time bandits attacked them or some evil witch decides to try and knock them into a tree his first thought is always make sure Merlin is okay. Arthur wanted to scream. It wasn't just in battle that Merlin would distract him, it was on their journeys too. Arthur would make sure that the Knights didn't eat all of the food and would put some aside for Merlin, he would make sure that Merlin had the calm, gentle horse, because he was a calm and gentle soul. But what absolutely annoyed Arthur the most was the way he would pull Merlin close when they are asleep in the woods and hold him tight so his lean body wouldn't get cold. Merlin would never say a word, never mention it, and Arthur certainly wasn't going to mention it, he already got enough shit from the Knights about how "in love" he is with Merlin and how he's doing a "piss-poor" attempt at covering it up. 

Which is why Arthur should have left Merlin at home. Merlin laid on the table, covered in sweat, his eyebrow furrowed subconsciously. Gaius was treating him, trying to find any cure. He had told Arthur that he didn't need to stay, that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't owe Merlin anything. But of course Arthur knew all of that was untrue. He did need to stay because it was his fault, because he owed Merlin everything, and because he loved Merlin. He cringed at his inner thoughts. He loved Merlin, out of all people! His skinny manservant with the necktie and noticeable ears got his love, Arthur was sure that if his father were still alive he'd have Merlin executed for even giving Arthur these thoughts. But Arthur couldn't stop thinking about Merlin, partially because they were almost always together, but also because Arthur wouldn't be the person he was today without Merlin. If Merlin hadn't told him "you've had your fun, my friend" and if Arthur hadn't tried to kill Merlin with a mace then they'd never be here. Arthur was proud to admit that since meeting Merlin he had grown up a lot, he didn't make his servants moving targets anymore, and he wasn't so pompous and arrogant, or a "dollophead" as Merlin would say. Arthur was so grateful for Merlins existence and seeing him barely alive was sending him into a panic, Gaius would soon need to treat them both, Arthur thought.

A whimper broke him out of his thoughts. Merlin was stirring, awakening into consciousness.

Gaius sighed in relief and leaned back in his chair, he had been working non stop trying to create an antidote to wake Merlin up. For such an old man Gaius was still the greatest physician Camelot had. Arthur was grateful that Merlin was in his capable hands. 

Arthur stared as Merlin slowly opened his eyes, Gaius removed the damp cloth he had placed on Merlins forehead earlier and searched in his supplies for something else, Arthur had no clue what he was looking for.

"Do you mind waiting with him, I need to get some herbs for him." Gaius mumbled as he stood, obviously tired from all the work he did to save Merlin.

"Yes, of course." Arthur said as he moved to the chair that Gaius had previously been occupying.

Merlin was staring blankly at the ceiling above him. Arthur reached out and intertwined his fingers between Merlins, whose hand was resting against his side. He squeezed his fingers.

"Merlin," he squeezed again, "squeeze back if you can feel this."

Arthur anxiously waited a few moments, thinking all the worst thoughts, before he felt Merlins hand squeeze back, softly, but enough for Arthur to feel it. He sighed in relief and leaned back in the chair, still holding onto Merlins hand. Hearing him sigh, Merlin turned his head to Arthur, and much to Arthur's confusion, started giggling. The little fucker just came back from being unconscious and he was giggling. Arthur frowned.

"Merlin," He said, somewhere between relief that Merlin was awake, and annoyance because of his laughter, "what is so funny? I thought you might've been dead!"

Merlin tried to contain his laughter, but instead ended up coughing, clearly not fully recovered. When Merlin coughed Arthur would squeeze his hand tighter, which would cause Merlin to laugh, then cough, and the cycle continued.

"Merlin, if you don't stop laughing now I will not hesitate to put you in the stocks." Arthur said, his annoyance so obvious that Merlin stopped laughing.

"Yeah, right, you couldn't bear to see me getting hurt," when Arthur raised his eyebrows at him Merlin continued, "you were in a right fit with me being unconscious."

"And how would you know that? You were unconscious." Arthur snapped back.

"Well, just because I wasn't responsive, doesn't mean I couldn't hear anything." Merlin grinned, he was still pale and covered in sweat, but that didn't stop him from being his cheeky self.

Arthur did not say anything in response, he really didn't want to talk about how worried he was for Merlin. He stood to get up but Merlin gripped his hand tightly.

"Don't leave me." He choked out, and just the simple gesture and words were enough to break Arthur.

"I would never leave you." He said, his voice soft and gentle. Merlin closed his eyes and smiled, a sweet smile that softened his face from pain to bliss. Arthur settled properly in his seat, he brought his other hand up to stroke Merlins hair, eliciting a soft hum of approval out of Merlin. Hearing this made Arthur's insides melt because Merlin was so sweet and loving and, God, Arthur wanted to hold him close and protect him from all harm.

"It's okay that you were worried about me, I worry about you too." Merlin said, opening his eyes and staring right into Arthur's.

"Why worry about me? I can take care of myself," Arthur said, his voice firm, he really didn't need Merlin to worry about him. Merlin rolled his eyes, clearly thinking of something sassy to say to Arthur, before Merlin could answer him he continued, "you are far too important to me Merlin, I would not be able to cope without you."

"Yeah, a good servant's hard to come by, ay?" Merlin laughed, Arthur shook his head.

"No, not in that way," he could feel burning in the back of his throat, his stomach felt like lead, "I need you Merlin, and not as a servant, as far more than that."

Arthur could see Merlins eyes brighten, his mouth slightly ajar. Perhaps Arthur's gaze lingered on Merlins lips for far too long, and perhaps Merlin noticed. Merlin tugged on Arthur's hand that he was holding, and pulled it closer to him. He ran Arthur's hand over his stomach and chest, and settled it over his heart. Arthur could feel Merlins heart beating, the pace faster than he expected. Arthur's other hand moved down from the top of Merlins head, past his ear, traced his jawline, and then he slowly moved his thumb across Merlins bottom lip. He could hear Merlins heavy breathing, Arthur himself felt like his chest was going to explode. He moved his thumb to the corner of Merlins mouth, their gazes steady, staring into each other's eyes. Arthur was fighting with his inner self, something inside of him was begging him, pleading with him, to just do it, just do what his heart desires, and damn the consequences, he could deal with that later. And so he did. Arthur slowly leaned in, over Merlin, and lowered his head down so their foreheads and noses were touching, their lips millimetres apart. He could feel Merlins warm breath against his own, and he couldn't take it anymore. He tilted his head to the side and moved in. His lips connected with Merlin and it felt like a fire was spreading throughout his body. He had never felt so peaceful and yet so energised as he did in that moment, it was as if he were floating and falling at the same time and Merlin was his parachute. Merlin kissed back immediately, no hesitation evident, which spurred Arthur on to kiss him deeper, harder, to finally fulfill his desires and dreams. It was as if he and Merlin were one, a connection so deep he felt severing it would harm them both. But unfortunately, as he heard footsteps approaching, ever the vigilant knight, he regrettably pulled away from Merlin and settled back into his seat, settling his hands in his lap. Merlin looked at him in confusion, before the door swung open and he gave a slight giggle. Gaius was back, he began to create a herb concoction for Merlin. Arthur and Merlin sat in silence, everything they needed to say had already been said.


End file.
